The start of this blog wasn’t planned for today of all days, but yet it seems highly appropriate and hopefully a meaningful present and show of love for my amazing husband and 3 awesome children.
To start, I am 39, and have been knowingly fighting MS since June 2008. I say knowingly because there is no way to know just how long it had already been silently taking over. I met and married my husband 20 years ago. Long before my diagnosis. I count this as a blessing as we had a strong foundation from which to start this fight from. I have heard many stories where marriages have not lasted through the fight. We were blessed with 3 children throughout the years before my diagnosis. Again I count this as a blessing. Obviously the Higher Power knew it was best for us to have children before this monster presented itself as it can make things complicated. So yes we were young, but it has all worked out the best. Someone obviously had a plan for my family and myself. I was able to be active, mobile and present for my children when they were young and they needed to hold my hand. Now they are teenagers with one in college already and they don’t need my hand as much, but in a shift as we sometimes see much much later in life, they are there now to hold my hand if I need it.
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I will admit I get very frustrated when that reason is not made clear to me, but in time most things reveal themselves. I do not know why this monster that has no known cure has been set loose on me, and I will never know. Some people believe we are only given things we can handle and maybe there is truth to that, but I don’t understand why me. I’m not going to sit here and say I don’t have my days where I have a pity party about that because that would be an outright lie. We all have days where we wonder why me about a myriad of things. There are a couple things in my life that I now don’t and never will question again.
One would be why did I meet this amazing man 20 years ago. It was so I would be able to have the once in a lifetime kind of love where we can conquer everything together. Two, it was so I could have 3 beautiful, amazing, wonderful children early on in life so I could be as big a part of their lives as they needed while they were young. Three, I had them young because Someone was watching over me and knew the monster was coming and so I was blessed and very lucky to have my three healthy children when I did. Now they are at ages where Mom isn’t always needed but if so, I can help in whatever way I can at that time and one of them or my husband can pick up the slack if it’s too much for me. It also works out that in my times of need, they now return the favor and come to my aid and hold my hand. I never want my kids to feel like they had to grow up too fast and I believe so far we have accomplished letting them still be kids, but to also learn to help others when it is needed. Four, I KNOW I was meant to experience all of this before this MS monster really started to rear it’s ugly head.
So on this Valentine’s Day, my heart is so full and I am so blessed because despite what this monster wants to take from me, I have the very best husband and children a woman could ask for.
Lastly five, I am not fighting this disease alone. Together, as a family, with their love and support, WE are fighting this monster. WE ARE FIGHTING MS WITH LOVE!